Change is the Only Real Constant

January 13, 2025 5 Minute Read

Change is the only real constant.  

Things change in our lives all the time. We change jobs.  Get a promotion.  We graduate college and begin the search for a job.  We start a new relationship or end one. New friends come into our lives as old ones fade. We buy a new home (which sometimes includes selling one). Our health improves or declines.  We succeed in an endeavor, or we fail.  I could go on.  You are probably thinking of a change in your life that I haven’t mentioned.  

Some of those changes we think of as good and some bad, but those are just values we assign to those events. Some of those changes you may have caused, for good or bad (again, a value judgment). Some of those changes you may feel were done to you. My friend Karamo from Queer Eye would instead say, “It happened for you, not to you.” 

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OK, let me backtrack a bit.  If you haven’t seen the Queer Eye series, it’s your next binge-watch for the holidays.  I came across it through this interview with Karamo on the Rich Roll podcast.  It’s a must-see or listen-to.  (Rich Roll gets great guests.  Here is one of my favorite episodes featuring John and Molly Chester of Apricot Lane Farms and Biggest Little Farm fame.)   Anyhow, back to the Karamo interview.  As Rich was interviewing Karamo, he said that Queer Eye was one of the few programs he could watch with his entire family. That there was something for everyone and that there was rarely a dry eye in the house.   And it’s Karamo who says: “It happened for you, not to you.” 

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That is a challenging idea to get your hands around because it requires us to be at cause in our lives.  Here, you may be thinking of something that was done to you, not by you.  Someone wronged you, teased you, undermined you, threatened you, or even did something horrifying, and you want to say something like, “There is no way this was done for me; it was done to me.”  And you’d be right on some level, and we could leave it at that.  Or, there is an opportunity to take everything that happened “to you” and see if you could see it as something done “for you.”   It influenced and even made you who you are today.  If you could see it as something happening “for you,” you could take back the power you lost when it was done “to you” and turn it into the positive change that made you. I think this is the message Karamo is trying to get across.  I welcome your thoughts.   

 So, if you made it this far, let’s talk more about change. 

 

 

All change is for you and by you.  What if you caused all the changes in your life?  You are going to think of that thing that could not possibly have been caused by you and offer it up as something that you could not possibly cause, and I get it.  Maybe it was, and perhaps it wasn’t.  But what if we could approach every day as one that we create, moment by moment, and cause, experience, and likely value it?  “This was a good thing that happened to me.”  I have a new client. It’s a good thing.  I lost a big client… lousy, right?  

I am going to assert that it is the value we assign to it that gets us in trouble. I am thinking of The Maybe Story here.  You know it:  A farmer’s horse runs away, and all the neighbors come by to say how unfortunate it is.  The farmer’s only response is, “Maybe.”  

If this doesn’t ring a bell, or if you want to revisit it, check the link above.  

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There is much more to say about change, but it is time to conclude for now.  As we head into a new year, which I hope is filled with everything you ever thought possible, I want to express my gratitude to each of you.  

One last thing. 
Here is a mantra I have on my desk:  

What will I create today—
and have more fun doing—
that will be more powerful than I have ever dreamed of? 

Happy New Year!  I wish for you that you live the life you have always dreamed of.  

Have a great month,

David ⭐️